Inland Invasion II
September 14, 2002

I was eight years old when I first heard the Sex Pistols. That memory was burned into my brain in a way that few others were. I was living on Stone Street in Watertown, NY. We lived in an apartment building that had our apartment and a a collection of rooms with a commons area that included a living room and kitchen. The Common room was just through a door off of our kitchen.
The collection of people in the rest of the building was very eclectic. There were some old men, including Luey: a mental patient that told wonderful stories about how he taught the ant people how to cook, and a young punk couple named Mark and Mary.
Mark and Mary were awesome.
And, just like the movie says: there was "Something About Mary." She was beautiful and used to jog in the shortest running shorts I had ever seen. I had a big crush on her and wanted her. Granted, I was only eight years old and had no idea what I wanted her for, but I wanted her.
Mark played in a punk band called Fallout Shelter and looked and dressed really cool. He was the guy I looked up to. Plus, he got to kiss Mary and that was pretty cool in my book at the time. Now I know he got to do a lot more with Mary...lucky bastard!

It was through Mark and Mary that I got turned on to some of the coolest music on the planet. They made the fatal mistake of playing the Sex Pistols one day and I was hooked. They made me a tape of the record and I listened to it until I could sing every word (except the swearing) from memory. The songs were awesome and my mom hated it. Of course at eight, I also didn't understand the political messages of the songs, I just liked the music.
One day, my younger sister told my mom that they swore on it and my mom took the tape away. No problem, Mark and Mary made me a new one. Then my stupid sister told my grandmother what was on the tape while we were at her house and she took it away and threw it in the trash. Again, I went back and they made me a new one. This happened many more times thanks to my big-mouth sister. But each time, just like every other time before, Mark and Mary made me a new one. Did I mention that they were REALLY cool? Continued...