|
Tom: Johnny Cash said that the only difference between touring today and in 1957 was that there was no Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Dave: There was no KFC in 1957? …Or now?
Tom: 1957…that's what Cash said. What do you find to be the weirdest and coolest parts of being on the road?
Dave: (Pauses) Ya Got Me! (Laughs) Uhm, Where can I begin to describe the an experience as crazy as being stuck on a bus with fifteen crazed mother-fuckers for, uh, eight months out of the year.
Uhh, I don't know…I guess one of the weirdest things is the whole mundanity of it and the total boredom of it. The hours of just sitting around: "I guess I'll go sit over there for a while" - "I just read a book over there or I guess I'll play SEGA over there for a while" (Well, actually, PlayStation 2 now.) It's like, Jesus dude, there's just like periods of frantic activity broken by long spells of total boredom. Ya know, it's just, uhm, to me; the weird thing isn't being on tour…it's being home.
Tom: How long does it take you guys to set up and get into costume?
Dave: On a night like tonight it takes just a few hours to get the stage set up. Getting into costume takes a half hour. It can be an all day affair if it's a huge club and we're doin' every freakin' GWAR thing ever…that could take all day.
Tom: Okay. Mudvayne & bands like that. What do you think?
Dave: I think it's cool…I think…
(A member of the road crew calls out Dave's name)
Dave: I'm…What? I'm doin' an interview!!!
("Road Crew" mumbles something unintelligible and leaves.)
Tom: We ok?
Dave: Yeah. Fuck 'em…he's getting fired next week. (Laughs)
Tom: We'll edit that part…
Dave: Believe me, by the time this is on, he'll be fired. What was the question?
Tom: Mudvayne and those bands…
Dave: Ooh! Well, I could sit here and say they were cool and everything, but I won't. They suck. I hate that kind of crap. I wouldn't care about the costumes, I don't know…I'm just not into that style of music: too mechanical…that rap/metal.
A lot of bands, I get into the way they sound at first and then I read the lyrics, read a few interviews with the bands, get into what they're talking about and I lose total interest. It's absolute crap. There's all this angst and aggression and I'm like, "Okay - Why? - What's it all about?" You Know? And…there's not a SCRAP of humor in any of it.
Tom: Right…
Dave: I think those guys take themselves way too seriously. As for people saying "they are getting over on you; they stole that from you" and that crap…whatever! Before us there was KISS, Alice Cooper, and a million other bands out there that did that stuff. Christ! Screamin' Jay Hawkins - Even punk rock was dressed up!
When I was a kid I used to think: "Man, the Sex Pistols must really like KISS a lot." I didn't see the difference really. It was all Rock & Roll to me. All big show…
Tom: I tried to explain GWAR to a friend of mine the other day. He's never seen you. I don't know where he's been, but I explained to him that you guys were like a combination of a Troma film mixed with a rock band. That got his attention because he's a big Troma freak. I've got some weird questions here like:
Who is your favorite serial killer (other than Carl Panzram)?
Dave: Okay…um…first of all let me say about the whole serial killer thing: I think the idolizing and deifying of serial killers, buying their paintings, walking around thinking that they're all cool and shit…that shit is so stupid. I study about war, murder, death and violence to understand how better to end it. GWAR is a purging of violent emotion and feelings and also a skewering of violent attitudes through comedic violence. So, I wouldn't say I had a favorite serial killer, but here are some that are more creative than others. Carl Panzram was one of them.
Tom: Yeah, I looked it up on the Internet after reading about it on the GWAR site.
Dave: That guy was a maniac. I was reading about this crazy lady that poisoned, like, twenty husbands in the 1800's. She was pretty wild.
That one guy…uh, the Vampire of Dueseldorf: Peter Kutchner or something like that. He used to run up to swans in the park and bite their heads off…the weirdest one I've heard of in a long time…they just call him "Q". He just appears out of the woods in Russia armed with assault rifles and rocket launchers. It sounds more like some crazed Chechnyan terrorist, and he'd just attack a village single handedly, wipe it out and just disappear.
Tom: No shit!
Dave: Yeah! Pretty cool.
Tom: Okay. Homeless people: Good source of food or fuel?
Dave: Oh, Food! Food is fuel. They should be pulling city busses somewhere!
Tom: (laughs) That's a good answer! How would GWAR handle the Middle East situation?
Dave: We're not relying on fossil fuels, so we really don't give a shit!
I heard a good one today…that the Jews staged the holocaust so that they would have a good excuse to take Palestine and America backed it up so we could have a base there. Because them people wanted Jerusalem since the First Crusade. It's full of shit!
I also heard that the guy that blew up the World Trade Center was actually the owner of them and that a few months before, he took out huge amounts of anti-terrorism insurance, and actually the buildings were inefficient and, uh, cost prohibitive and that the space was worth a lot more without the buildings on it. But, they could never demolish it because of all the leases and everything; so, they were, like, "What are we gonna do? - Fake a terrorist…stage a terrorist attack."
Did you see the way those buildings just collapsed? Just, like, straight down? They sit and talk on TV about what it takes to blow up a building so that it implodes nicely They sit there and do all this kind of shit: drill holes and put dynamite everywhere, sometimes it still doesn't work. Both of those World Trade Center towers fell straight down. Anyway…
Tom: I've got to address your website.
Dave: Which one: Oderus.com or gwar.net?
Tom: The Oderus one.
Dave: My personal website. Did you read the "Arrrrrgh" page…the Blackbeard page?
Tom: Yeah. I also liked the painting you have on there. What is it…uh?
Dave: "Discovery of Jizmoglobin"?
Tom: No, The masturbator…
Dave: Iranian Masturbator.
Tom: Very cool painting.
Dave: That's an oil painting I scanned in and put into Photoshop and screwed around and fucked it all up.
Tom: I had it up as my wallpaper for about two weeks and everyone was, like, "what is that?" So, do you do all the stuff on the site yourself?
Dave: Yeah, I'm slowly learning how to do Dreamweaver and take care of that shit.
Tom: I'll add a link to that site as well.
Dave: Cool! ODERUS.COM!
Tom: I know you have to go, so, last and most important question:
The fact being that you are Oderus Urungus - Do you have any secrets for getting stubborn urine stains out of a codpiece?
Dave: Oh God!! I live for…Well, first of all: Any secret I told you wouldn't be a secret would it? Second of all: Oderus wants urine stains.
Tom: That's what I thought!
Dave: If he doesn't have urine stained underwear it's just pointless. And third: Oderus doesn't wear a codpiece. He lets it all hang out!
Back to GWAR Page
|
